God's plan

So the sermon today was titled Living the Dream.  It got me to thinking about what my dream is.  I do have many of them...have another baby, become a NICU nurse, publish a book.

As I was running through my list in my head during the sermon, I realized that the last one resonated with me.


Some Background

I've wanted to publish a book since I was (I believe) in second grade and I wrote a story for class.  I can't remember what got me started on it, but part of me feels it was something my dad said to me.  I do know that several years later, I made a comment on the "dark and stormy" day we were having, and my mom told me that I should become a writer.  Whatever spark I had before that time was ignited into a flame of passion and I've been dabbling in writing ever since.  I've never finished a full length book, but I have finished several short stories and one story that for all intents and purposes could very well be called a novella (it was over 10,000 words I believe). 

Though I've had several people tell me I should write children's books, I've never felt the passion for that as I have for writing adult or young adult fiction.  And, as my second grade teacher may have seen, I tend to lean towards the science fiction/fantasy genre of writing.

So where does that leave me?

Well, after we found out that Alex was going to have to spend time in the hospital (of course we didn't have a clue it would be his entire life), I looked for books.  I even went as far as having my cousin, who works for the hospital Alex was in, look in the hospital's library.  Did you know there are NO books out there about how to deal with an extended hospital stay?  For anyone?  I saw a niche that needed to be filled and decided early on after Alex was born that I needed to fill that.  I was uniquely suited and (not to be conceited but...) talented to fill it.  So I started writing down some ideas for the chapters.  And that is about as far as I got.

Until...

I read a blog written about a little girl who, at two months old, went into the hospital.  Her parents discovered she has a very rare brain tumor and they are fighting to save this little girl's life.  After reading some of the posts, I started feeling a fueling in my heart again.  And then today's sermon.  I think it is time to look at my ideas again and get working on them.

Unlike my dream to become an author so I could be famous, this dream is so much bigger and all encompassing.  If I write this book and it is published, I'm honoring Alex's memory and his struggles by helping other families.  To me, it would explain my talent of writing and why I've been so frustrated about being able to move anywhere with my ability.  So pray for my project and pray for me.  That I'm able to move forward and accomplish what I feel God is calling me to accomplish.