Warm and Fuzzy

I had a great dream last night, and I think it was all due to the research/reading I did yesterday. See, since DH and I decided to start trying to have a baby I have been a little...obsessed. I want a baby so bad that I'm going through and checking ovulation charts and everything. I know God will give us a baby in His time, but like the quote from Facing the Giants (great movie, by the way, if you haven't seen it!), I am preparing my field for rain.

I had a beautiful little girl in my dream. She was so cute and completely healthy. I woke up this morning feeling so warm and fuzzy. The weird part of my dream (because my dreams ALWAYS have an element of weirdness to them) was that no one knew I was pregnant and DH and I hadn't even picked out a name. *shrug*

Part of me is tempted to say this dream is prophetic, only because I had a similar dream before I found out I was pregnant with Alex, but part of me is afraid of relying on my dream too much, simply because I know the enemy can attach us in our dreams...he had done it to me earlier this year.

That particular dream happened around the six month mark of Alex passing away. I dreamt the hospital called because Alex was miraculously alive, happy, and whole. In my dream, I stood staring at this sleeping year and half old boy (who was very wiggly in bed) and was ecstatic. I was so happy in my dream, that when I woke up and it hit me all over again that Alex was really gone I started crying and saying no.

That being said, I prayed that I wouldn't obsess over that dream and while I remember it and think of it as getting a glimpse of how Alex is in heaven, I don't dwell on it. I think this dream needs to be the same. I don't want to get so wrapped up in the dream baby I saw that when and if I get pregnant, I'm disappointed.

So pray for me, dear readers. And pass it along.