Mother's day is a day that we celebrate those who have given birth. But it seems to be a stigma in our society that we only celebrate those women who have LIVING children.
Now I don't know how most women who have lost a child feel. After all, this is something that is individual to each and every woman who has at the misfortune of going through losing a child. However, my own experience has shown me that mother's who have lost children do not even get thought about on Mother's Day. And for me...it is devastating.
I already struggle with my identity as a mother. I had Alex for such a short amount of time and he was never "home". I never solely took care of him...I was always surrounded by nurses and doctors that I knew, if I wasn't there, they would care for him. Yes, I gave birth to him, but as anyone who has adopted knows, giving birth does not a mother make.
In my mind, I KNOW I was a mother to Alex. More importantly, I was his Mommy. Unfortunately, my heart doesn't always agree. And it is harder when holidays like Mother's Day come and go with no one wishing ME a Happy Mother's Day. This makes my identity struggle even harder.
As I said before, I don't know how others who have no living children feel about this, but if you know them well. If you know how they feel about their loss and you know that something as simple as a Happy Mother's Day won't make their pain greater, but instead would make them feel like a mother, don't hold back. Tell them Happy Mother's Day. Let them know with those three little words that they are indeed a mother.
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